‘You’re better off Misha without her. She’s on a downward spiral. One you can’t afford to go down with her…..you know that don’t you?’ Picking up the glass and taking a long drink of the cold golden liquid he replied, ‘I failed her John…..I love her and I couldn’t help her.’ ‘Misha no one could help her…she didn’t want it. She’s addicted to the stuff and that is more powerful than anything you can offer her. Stop beating yourself up about it.’ ‘I don’t know where the Suzanne I first knew went….the lovely, funny sexy Suzanne….she disappeared to be replaced by this person I hardly recognised. I tried to help her but I couldn’t seem to make her see she was worth much more than she thought.’ ‘It was the addiction Misha. The drugs, the drink. Stop blaming yourself.’ Shaking his head he looked at his friend sitting opposite him in the noisy bar. ‘I’ll never feel for anyone what I felt for her. She made me feel alive, made me feel as if my body was on a natural high just being with her….the. As I neared the side entrance, Corporal Higgins appeared in the doorway, looked around and jerked her head at me to enter. Closing the door behind me, she locked it, then without a word, she took me by the hand and led me behind the counter and down an alleyway between shelves full of blankets, sheets and pillowcases to her office. We had a cigarette while she waited to make sure no one saw me enter; there were no lights on so it was hard to make each other out in the dim light from outside her window. I was anxious, nervous yet excited and didn't know what to say, so just sat there listening to her make small talk. Finally we stubbed out our cigarettes and she held out her hand and said, "Come" and led me out of her office. About half way along the length of the room she reached a doorway and led me into the room. It was pitch dark and she struck a match and I saw why, the window was covered by a blanket and she lit a candle that was in an ash tray on a chair. It was obviously a.
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